As I embarked on this Quest for Self-Love, I had absolutely no idea where and how to go about it. What does Self-Love means? Do I love who I am? What does it even mean to love myself? How do I love myself? I began to turn to the experts like Brené Brown, Abraham Hicks, Banu Sekendur and many other resources available that have explored what Self-Love is and why it is so fundamental to our well-being and also to others around us.
What I think I understand it to be in the simplest terms possible today:
SELF-LOVE = Feeling Good (Happy)*
(*without doing harm to self or anyone else)
That means to say, when I am having positive feelings or emotions at any moment, I am engaging in Self-Love. And when negative feelings or emotions arise, I am disengaging myself from Self-Love. It does not imply that I love myself any more or less with the fluctuation of feelings. I am also not saying we should try to deny or run away from any kind of negative feelings. But it is important to know that it is completely normal and okay to experience more resistance, more vulnerability and more discomfort within us whenever we try to hold on or stay with any of these negative feelings like sadness or anger. Just remember this,
“The love that you hold for yourself at any given moment is enough.” -Abraham Hicks
Therefore, if I were to go with this principle, all I really need to do is to intentionally focus my energy on feeling good or feeling better in order to engage in and enhance Self-Love in my life. I had to include the disclaimer because I believe that if we harm ourselves or anyone else in the process of trying to feel good, we may actually border on being selfish. This might take some practice if we have been constantly living our lives for others or have been focusing our energies to make others feel better so that we feel better ourselves. But sorry darling, the truth is, we can neither guarantee things to turn out the way we expect nor make someone else be who we want them to be. Ever. We can only get to be who we need to be.
My happiness is my own responsibility, not someone else’s. I am going to take ownership of it and feather my own nest. Whatever it takes, I will keep feeling better.
What does Self-Love means to you?
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