Happy cock it up year!

Another year with lots of new beginnings to be excited about. A new job, new names and faces to remember, new travel route to work, new things to learn on the job, all in one pretty package. Yet something seems to be weighing on me. I don’t always like the skeptic in me, but I shall admit I have my doubts and fears that this would be an easy and smooth year. Just like how I finally made up my mind that the black and white walls in my room needed a new coat of paint. So I got down to painting it after years of procrastination. And the room did not turn out the way I had imagined it to be. It wasn’t bad. In fact, it was better than what it used to look. And that makes for a good change, right? But it was okay, just okay.

To make it easier on me, I think that it would be best to expect and embrace 2017 which happens to be the Year of the Rooster, to also be a year of cock ups. Yes, that would mean I am going to fuck it up. I am going to make a mess of things. There will be plenty of mistakes made.  I am going to be wrong more often than right. There will be many times I feel ‘not good enough’. There will be even more moments of vulnerability and discomfort. I will fall down, get bumped and hurt real bad. There will be disappointments and frustrations. I might even reach a point that I think to myself, “fuck this shit” and I leave.

But hell yeah, I am going to make as many mistakes as I can. All the mistakes I expect to make, they are part of my becoming. A necessary ‘evil’ that must happen to move me into a place of growth and transformation. What motivates me to embrace change and new beginnings is that I truly believe I need to challenge myself to come undone in order to rise up stronger. I will have to unearth and unlearn everything I thought I knew. I am going to have to do things where there are no guarantees of a positive outcome. I am going to stop trying to control or predict and simply go with the flow. And I hope in the process, I get to be a real badass at living and loving bravely.

It might not be my kind of fun, but at least I can say I have tried.

And it was okay.

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Credits for gif to http://giphy.com

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